Things are starting to settle into a less chaotic feeling for us. But, I have struggled with decision fatigue as I have had to make countless decisions about doctors, schools, moving, and fixing up our house to become a vacation rental.
1. How can I work with what I know or have?
If you are experiencing grief, or are parenting on a ninja level, it’s easy to get bogged down with little tiny decisions. When under extreme stress, it can sometimes feel like deciding what to make for dinner is too much. You feel like you can never make the big decisions about changing schools, housing, or cities.
This can lead to decisions piling up and then a feeling of freeze from the weight of it all. As I stumbled forward, I kept repeating: How can I work with what I already know or have?
When we were preparing our house to become a vacation rental, my husband bought mirrors that were discounted because they had scratches on the frames. Normally, I could care less, but, as we got ready to take pictures of our house, I started worrying about how the scratched mirrors would look.
I considered painting these mirrors a cream color to match the newly painted walls, but I didn’t have the time to do the project. This time constraint forced me to get a bit more creative and suddenly I had the idea to use a black marker to color over the scratches. And they looked better for the picture – without a huge time investment and mess on my part.
I was amazed by how many happy coincidences there were of things I had bought at different times that perfectly matched with other decorations.
I bought a lamp with a picture of frogs that look like they are dancing at one second-hand store and then a year later we found a second matching one.
Without looking closely at those, I decided on a curtain we already had for that room. Suddenly as I was hanging the lamps on the wall, I noticed that the blue and white stripes on the lamps perfectly matched the curtain blue and white stripes.
Synchronicity
2. What if I can’t get it wrong?
I thought I would find a school first and then move. But, I realized that we would not directly get a place at a resurs (autistic specialist) school so I had to find the best alternative with the information I had. My husband was looking for the “perfect” school and analyzing things, not wanting to move forward. But, I knew that the move had to come first and then we could keep working on getting the school place working. I realized that the most important decision was to get to Stockholm. That we likely would need to change schools a few times to get the right fit and to start that process we needed to move.
So, I let my intuition guide me in the process, sometimes picking things that weren’t “quite right” but when I look back it was the right choice for the moment. So, the power of this question: “What if I can’t get it wrong?” is that you tell your intuition that you trust in the process. And you allow the right decision to present itself.
For me, choosing that school was just one step in a process. We are no longer with that school, but I still believe I made the right choice for that moment because it got us to the neighborhood we are in now, that I dearly love. You always have the chance to choose again later. But, sometimes not choosing anything can keep you stuck.
I started to sing in a local choir that meets in the culture center directly across the street, which helped bring some new friends. And because of meeting someone in that group, I found an activity night for my child that has been an incredible blessing. A place to belong for both of us.
So, I invite you to give yourself some grace next time you are faced with big decisions.
3. Sing through the struggles
Music can help to calm the brain and then it can work better for you. My mantra when things are a struggle:
Take it one thing at a time, that is all I can do
Take it one day at a time, that is how we’ll get through.
And if you are struggling with decision fatigue and want to move forward, consider joining our mailing list and getting access to bonus videos to help you calm the storms.
